RALLY TO JUMBOTRON!

Oh hey there boob-tubers! Abbey Jordan here, fresh off the the stage (7 hours ago "fresh") at the 2010 Rally To Restore Sanity in San Francisco. I performed with my friend, Sean and with 30 people attending, the only thing more inappropriate than calling it a "Rally" would be to call it a "Rally Against Overpopulation".

I like the idea of there being a rally against population and only 15 people attend, but it still boasts a jumbo-tron. Even more though, I like that I performed in The Rally To Restore Sanity, 13 people attended and they had a jumbo-tron!

Truth is, the rain was coming down so hard and people are like cats... you know, with a tail and nine lives... where my Hindus at?! Everybody who was there, was there because they care too much- or they were being paid to perform (me and Sean) and I got on stage and told them how dumb they were. When I first got up and said: On my way here I asked everybody I saw if they were coming to this rally... they said "what rally?" [exploding laughter comes from the audience rolling 11 deep] and I told them "I DON'T KNOW!" At this point, the crowd (10 people) laughed so hard they vomited and then, gave me a standing ovation. Haters might say "it was raining and there wasn't seating", but I'd like to tell those insecure women (obviously) that if I brighten the rainy day of 9 people, then let's just be happy for all of us... because collectively, that makes a brighter day for the whole world- except China.

I took some video of this 5 person festival, there was some of my performance, but Sean Keane (who went before me and took video of me) couldn't stop narrating my set/ being overtly gracious to the three people in the "crowd" who turned to acknowledge his set. I am just going to post something that was filmed before either one of us went up. In this video you will see a male tribal-fusion-belly dancer. This guy is like Thomas the Train and he's pulling heavy cargo! I mean: he was first and we followed him (like a cult!). That's okay because NO ONE SHOWED UP!

This was a bizarre, fun experience and I wish EVERY DAY had a Rally for me to perform in front of even if it were attended only by fetuses!

Enjoy!