Responsible.
I am responsible now... I used to cry myself to sleep, wishing I could pay rent and buy groceries. I wanted nice things. Now, as I sit in a cafe, sipping a spicy chai and typing on my MacBook Pro, I recognize how my wants have shifted.
I was watching a movie the other night, where a character had practically every bone in her body smashed in some awful accident. As she sat in her hospital bed, morphine constantly dripping into her blood stream, I wished I had an excuse to be on morphine all day. Maybe in some sort of terrorist attack, where I lay out the bad guys and save the world, or at least the building.
I used to love opiates and hanging out, but now- I can't. I have to stay focused, but for what? Success? Presence? I just watched 2012 and I realize success is pretty pointless. However, like other rappers before me, I must get dat paper, y'all. Sure, I would rather be euphorically itchy all over while I tried, but then I yell at cats for "talking" too much.
I'm working on a book, but don't tell anyone... I don't want to subject myself to public ridicule. I was writing jokes, but then I lost the page I was working on, so I picked up some opiates and now am havein fuhn. Don't know what all these small townsie people are looking at... like their ticks don't make them itchie... I could have ticks, what do they know? One thing definitely havein: FUUUUUUUUUhhhhHHhhhn. I should go some where and masturbate.
OH THANK GOD THERE IS A NEW NOTIFICATION IN FACEBOOK!
Showing posts with label giving up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label giving up. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Date Rape Brownie
You ever think "I wish there were some way I could feel out of control without hurting anyone but myself."?
Eating Pot.
Let me just tell you- I didn't know I was in for anything but a snack, but the freezer had other plans. I was cat sitting for a friend and I wanted to eat some food I didn't pay for, so I went to the freezer and saw brownies (my 7th favorite!). I don't smoke pot, in fact I hate it, but you know what they say "heart disease is the leading cause of death among men over the age of 60?" no... the other thing: You are what you hate/ eat. I really didn't know what was to happen to me.
I was a pot brownie... Now I am a tortilla chip.
7 Hours In The Life Of Pot Brownie (an internal dialouge)
Oh boy, it's tough being brownie... kept in the freezer... I can't worry about that now, my head is disconnected from my gooey center and I'm clearly at room temperature. It's like I am a million delicious particles... what was that?! Where am I? I better get off the phone because I don't know what this person is saying "who is this?" oh yeah, hope he doesn't take that wrong... what just flew by me?! Oh- it's a chair... good, it's not moving. wow... wait... what am I holding? "hello?"... "who is this?" I gotta get to the couch. I'll just set my phone in this glass of water. Water is weird... woah, but it's everywhere. I wonder if there is a joke to that. No time now... what time is it? what does '3 o' clock' mean? I better stand up if I'm ever going to walk again [laughs]. I'm not even hungry, maybe I should do some yoga...
ONE HOUR LATER
why can't I eat almond butter and tortilla chips? It's so good... there is nothing else to eat... I've never eaten cat, but it sounds like a lot of work. I don't know if I will ever poop again. Batman makes a good point... What ever happened to women being so stupid in movies? Oh god... I wonder if I overlooked something in the cupboard... tahini? maybe with some maple syrup... oh yeah- I need some more chips.
END SCENE
Seriously, I can't talk about it anymore. It was the worst thing ever. So many of my peers enjoy pot, I tried to enjoy it, but it's a lot like being that one guy in a gang bang who really wishes women respected themselves more. I came up with a lot of useless ideas and ate my own weight in condiments; conversation scared me. I walked 5 miles home at midnight just to give my digestive system the upper hand in it's slow road to recovery. It's still mad at me. I can't believe I dated someone who did this all the time. I have to explain to my friend what I did now... which is not embarrassing... unless she asks me about her freezer burnt Mochi... then, it's pretty embarrassing.
Anyway, here's a video about it:
Eating Pot.
Let me just tell you- I didn't know I was in for anything but a snack, but the freezer had other plans. I was cat sitting for a friend and I wanted to eat some food I didn't pay for, so I went to the freezer and saw brownies (my 7th favorite!). I don't smoke pot, in fact I hate it, but you know what they say "heart disease is the leading cause of death among men over the age of 60?" no... the other thing: You are what you hate/ eat. I really didn't know what was to happen to me.
I was a pot brownie... Now I am a tortilla chip.
7 Hours In The Life Of Pot Brownie (an internal dialouge)
Oh boy, it's tough being brownie... kept in the freezer... I can't worry about that now, my head is disconnected from my gooey center and I'm clearly at room temperature. It's like I am a million delicious particles... what was that?! Where am I? I better get off the phone because I don't know what this person is saying "who is this?" oh yeah, hope he doesn't take that wrong... what just flew by me?! Oh- it's a chair... good, it's not moving. wow... wait... what am I holding? "hello?"... "who is this?" I gotta get to the couch. I'll just set my phone in this glass of water. Water is weird... woah, but it's everywhere. I wonder if there is a joke to that. No time now... what time is it? what does '3 o' clock' mean? I better stand up if I'm ever going to walk again [laughs]. I'm not even hungry, maybe I should do some yoga...
ONE HOUR LATER
why can't I eat almond butter and tortilla chips? It's so good... there is nothing else to eat... I've never eaten cat, but it sounds like a lot of work. I don't know if I will ever poop again. Batman makes a good point... What ever happened to women being so stupid in movies? Oh god... I wonder if I overlooked something in the cupboard... tahini? maybe with some maple syrup... oh yeah- I need some more chips.
END SCENE
Seriously, I can't talk about it anymore. It was the worst thing ever. So many of my peers enjoy pot, I tried to enjoy it, but it's a lot like being that one guy in a gang bang who really wishes women respected themselves more. I came up with a lot of useless ideas and ate my own weight in condiments; conversation scared me. I walked 5 miles home at midnight just to give my digestive system the upper hand in it's slow road to recovery. It's still mad at me. I can't believe I dated someone who did this all the time. I have to explain to my friend what I did now... which is not embarrassing... unless she asks me about her freezer burnt Mochi... then, it's pretty embarrassing.
Anyway, here's a video about it:
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