No Computer, No Problem!

Maybe my computer broke and I haven't been writing as many tasty blogs for my 14 followers (including myself) to chew on... maybe. However, before you start calling me unmotivated, there is someone who only writes a blog 4 times a year and it's always disappointing to one of my followers because the writer doesn't mention me- ever. Maybe. So, I could be worse... I could barely be writing and talking about myself even less- how would that feel?! Maybe.

My computer up and left, just like my parents. Only thing is, there is no State of Oregon to raise me now. There is no foster computer and what happens? I start reading more and taking French lessons again. I've also been out of the house more, making friends and using their computer... kind of like how I ate all the neighbor's food before the state started feeding me.

Is this a sad blog? Am I sad? Nope, J' ai faim, so I should go get a sandwich! Okay, I'm back and now that I am filled with sandwich (I never left), I am really going to start producing some notable paragraphs. Yep, up until I stood up to go eat that pretend food, I was just wasting time, now I am a machine- pumping out observations everyone can relate to; Most importantly, Rachel. As long as my sweet friend, who bought my movie ticket (SATC2) can relate... who cares?

Being a single, or (depending on my self-esteem) "focused" gal in San Francisco can be tough. I haven't really been looking at all, but one reader was for awhile and she bought me groceries once. I am all together disinterested in dating, but I should probably consider it because I think my vagina might grow back together and I could forget how to kiss.

NEWS

If you stop dating/ being intimate for more than 4.5 months, you forget how to kiss and even worse, you vomit in mouths of people who try to resuscitate your hopeless attempts at finding a counterpoint.

TRUE STORY

I had a fellow call me his "counterpoint" once. I thought he was joking and I loved him for his sense of humor. However, in retrospect he was a hacky romantic and I vomited in my cervix a little thinking about that, baring me from ever having red-headed children. I hope he doesn't read this (he wont), because I think he is an interesting person, but sometimes I think he may just be contrived... In case he is reading this, I should let you know that a penis shouldn't look like that. gross.

ANOTHER STORY

I had a friend who ran into an ex of mine recently... it's actually a really funny story that I will tell you tomorrow, Rachel (SATC2!!!) and the ex said "yeah, she wants me dead," in reference to being asked if he were my ex. I don't want him dead. I think that he is honestly just a bread sandwich soaking up the vomit of his new girlfriend, who purged an actual sandwich all over his useless, moldy body... because she is bulimic and he doesn't have a clue. I don't like him, that doesn't mean I want him dead. He was inconsiderate of me in a way that was so hurtful, I couldn't ever want to be his friend again. However, instead of saying "yeah, I'm her ex" and being accountable for his own behavior, he somehow placed himself in a power seat of being "wanted for dead". Like he were Butch Cassidy- hey Butch- fuck you! Sex and the City is in theaters and I am going to see it tomorrow with Rachel and Aiden's back, so there couldn't be a ill-will in my entire, glorious body. Enjoy having herpes, Butch Cassidy, I'm having Red Vines.


So, no computer, no problems. Just evolving over here.