Sunday, March 28, 2010

Mostly Stuff That Happened

Okay... I saw a psychic last night. I paid $20 for a reading. Do you know what she told me? That I need to start having more sex. I told her that she should make more money because that's such a wonderful idea! "How do I do it?" I asked. She looked a concentrated look into my energy field and replied "have fun- you're young." I thought it was a little trite, being that she was 16 years old and pregnant, but okay. "Hopefully I don't have too much fun [pointing to her stomach]... What did your mom say?". "She don't OWN ME!" Bitches be trippin', right?

So here I am at a coffee shop "having fun". They have the music on a Beatles station and I have sat through at least 6 songs now... the fun couldn't get more penetrable (grrrrr)! One of my favorite activities is flying, but on an airplane, not with my super powers (I get motion sickness). I like flying on commercial airplanes and packing a little snack to tide me over until I arrive at my destination. I usually steam some broccoli and hard boil some eggs- then, halfway through my flight, open the Tupperware and look around the cabin like "who farted?!". Maybe I do need to get some dick in here to fuck all these unattractive thoughts from my hamster head.

I am sitting in Philz coffee shop, which is a famous local chain in San Francisco. I am at the original one and Phil is just walking around- (doesn't this guy work?!) mingling with the female clientele. He sells his "signature fedoras" and pounds of coffee. He has all sorts of pictures of himself all over the walls. Phil creeps me out. He reminds me of a Rat Villain in a kid's movie. He always looks at me like I should be so excited to see Phil of the coffee dynasty. I feel for his employees and I just wish he'd go home. Does the NFL let their mascots bumble around the field when the team is playing? Phil is in the way. I am sad for his children... not really, but I wish there were somewhere to put this guy!

That's all.

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