Monday, October 4, 2010

Um Bears.

I nanny... and kids can't take vitamins like a self-actualized woman (myself- SHUT UP DAD!), so the "man" makes them in gummi bear form. He calls them "Yummi Bears" more like "Yummi Bears"! aaaamiright ladies?!?
"Yummi Bears" more like "Ummi-employment Bears"!

Abbey, why would you say "Ummi-employment"? Oh, I'm glad I asked! I say that because I'm over here eating all this kid's vitamins. If the serving says two, I figure I can take 4 because I am a BIG GIRL. I am not eating sweets right now (or meat, cheese or coffee), so this poor kid's vitamins seem like a gelatin loop hole that stretches to fit me through it... and it better because I am packing 7 extra pounds in yummi bear weight! I have VALIDATED eating Yummi Bears because they're vitamins. I haven't validated the sweat in my palms at the thought of the parents discovering my hand in the Yummi jar. Sure, there's a cookie jar, but I am on a cleanse PEOPLE!!! At one point they moved the vitamins to a different shelf, probably just to make room for all the organic treats they stock up on, but I found them and thought "HAHA- can't fool me! I have a nose for Yummi Bears!"

I only have so much time before this kid wakes up and there is laundry to do, so I will go fold my employers underwear and boxers, pretending I don't want to take care of my own husband. JK! Who has time for romance when I am so focused on my career?!

Ummi Bears take me away.

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