True story. I mean, true as true can be. I cannot see an Asian walking a dog without thinking "enjoy being soup- dog!". Does that make me a racist or a dog hater? I don't know, but I have always been a cat person. It's not just Asians, it's anyone with black, silky hair- they all look the same to me!
I lived on a dead end street from the age of 5-10 and there were a lot of dirty, poor, white kids in my same age group. We would shit in each others lawns, spit in a cup, make my little brother drink it and harass the old Chinese (or Mexican) man who lived across the street from my house. Was it that we were "racist" or "animal- lovers"? Clearly, with an old menace like that renting the garage of Clint's house, all of the four-legged pets in the neighborhood ran the risk of being turned into a burrito. How did we know that? Let's just say someone's dad liked Hamm's beer so much- he had a life sized statue of a fun-loving-beer guzzling bear in the family room and then after I say that, let me add that I still don't know how that relates to the cat myth. However, deviled eggs are fun!
The thing about the cats in our neighborhood, is they were all related and screwing so they were in-bred, worthless and probably deserved to be made into some sort of ethnic dish anyway, but hindsight doesn't feed a slew of poor kids. Nothing does. There are tons of stray cats and dogs in areas amassed in poverty, so why did Tu-Pac's Mom have to make "miracles every Thanksgiving"? You don't have to be David Blaine to understand the magic of resourcefulness. That's what happens in a welfare state: a false sense of entitlement to beef.
I miss my childhood, I really do- seriously, I blacked most of it out. That Italian across the street though, will always be a gook in my eyes and now I see him in the hair of every pet owner passing by as I think too myself: phở.
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